Douleur

What is wrong? Why this pain? Where is the joy? The happiness? That lightness of my soul?
Why this numbness? This emptiness?

All is gone...as life slips away through my fingers.

I am so tired! *sigh*

Nostalgia

After about 9 months, yesterday I got to meet my three closest friends from school, the only people I only honestly miss school for. 13 years in that school and I had never had anyone so close to me as Nilofer,Krishna and Divi and to think we became close friends only in the last 1 year of school.

With college closed for the End-Semester examinations study leave we had planned to meet on Thursday evening for a complete "girls day out".I had waited the whole day for 4:30pm when I would go to meet them.
Though it wasn't initially a "girls day out" with Nilofer's friend Priyok joining in with his lively anecdotes,the later part of the day was spent only with the four of us talking like we've haven't spoken for ages. It was like coming to life after being dead for so long...all of us in our different colleges trying to make ourselves each a "career". I don't remember being so happy in ages or so relieved after all the advice they had given me for this terrible phase I am going through right now. Our joys, sorrows and even trivial gossip was all out in the open,hanging out at Nilu's place with adorable little Chica for company.
I am so glad I had planned this meeting with them and after yesterday we realised that we need more of it,and if it weren't for our coming exams we would have planned again and again(which we will, once they are out of the way).
These 3 are so dear to me that i couldn't imagine life without them,being with them reminds me of those innocent times that we had in school before being thrust into this world of the present.I miss them so much as i think of them now and can't wait to meet them again. I love them...for what they are,for what they want to be,for what they say and how good and caring they are. No amount of boyfriends or other relations can amount this special friendship that the four of us share.

When someone said that "the best friends are always the school friends",I know what exactly they meant and I so readily agree.
Cheers to the 3 of you-Nilofer,Krishna and Divi.Love you.

She stood on her terrace,
Deep in thought as she looked around her.
The pleasant breeze swept past her, the cool air filling her as she inhaled.
It was the time of festivities, with lights everywhere.

The wind lifted her hair, it made her smile.
Her mind at peace, she looked above,
The sky was black with only a few stars shimmering.
The black night held her in its awe.

The darkness above and the lights below,
And she between it all.
She separated the two worlds, one of light and revelry
The other of darkness and calm.

It was at this time that He came,
His presence brought a smile to her face.
His feelings for the night were the same as hers,
He looked around and felt the magic of the night engulf him.

He was on his terrace too,
Mystified by the night.
They didn't say much as they took in the night,
Their minds filled with a thousand silent words.

That night was a memorable one,
The bliss unforgettable.
The pains of the world left behind,
This night, the perfect emancipation.

This poem is dedicated to DJ, without whom this poem would not have been written.

C'est merveilleux

You Belong in Amsterdam!

A little old-fashioned,a little modern-you're the best of both worlds. And so is Amsterdam.

Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist, Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city).

Take this quiz and tell me which European city you belong in.

http://www.blogthings.com/whateuropeancitydoyoubelonginquiz/

I wish...

I wish…

This world only constituted of water, no land.

I wish…

There was no sun; the world would look amazing seeped in darkness for 24 hours.

I wish…

Chocolates would be calorie free.

I wish…

Pain would be sold as a drug.

I wish…

I could dig my feet into snow.

I wish…

I lived on Pluto instead of on the Earth.

I wish…

The clouds would be red instead of blue.

I wish…

There would be no summer, only winter.

I wish…

I could turn back time.

I wish…

I was 7 years old.

I wish…

I was my MPD.

I wish…I wish…I wish.

The truth of life

Truth of life:

We make them cry who care for us
we cry for those who never care for us and
we care for them who will never cry for us.


This is not written by me but i strongly believe in it.

Je parle francais finalement

At last I have passed my elementary French exam with an 82%. Not bad, considering the fact that I was quite bad in the oral exam. In fact I am really relieved, now that my course is over. All the "je", "moi", "toi", "s'il vous plait", "notre", "reseignement", "manger"and "voiture" has done away with my sanity already, not to mention the course and the timings, which made me stay on at college till 6 or sometimes almost 7. This leaves no difference between me and the BBA and BCOM students since we all seem to leave at the same time. Sigh!

But French classes were no bore, neither were they a pain, it’s just the schedule that seems to get the better of me and not to forget the rest of my exhausting day at college.

The course started in August ending this Tuesday, stretching across many Tuesdays and Thursdays, plus extra classes held on some unfortunate Mondays and Fridays leaving me physically and mentally drained.

But all in all French classes were fun...20 blank faced people entering room no.27 that Tuesday in August and 18 laughing Francais etudiantes leaving the MCVV room this Tuesday.
(If you are wondering as to what happened to 2 people, well they quit the course because they had had enough of it already).

It was nice to study French with 17 others who were as unknown about the language as I was, and now we are all qualified enough to speak Francais. The course has been wonderful with all of us making innumerable mistakes and our professor helping us out with it. It sure was fun. All the late classes, a mad rush to the nearest metro station to catch the earliest train and then worry about getting back home as fast possible, but of course, the Kolkata roads have other surprises in store for us, and leave us grumbling forever.

Now that our course is done, we have all separated, and I wonder if we will all come back for the next course...but till then…au revoir!

Je voudrias remercier ma professeur pour enseignant nous francais.
Merci. Au revoir.

He smiles and whispers in my ear, "I love you". I wonder... did he really mean that? He is so beautiful, that it scares me.

"Will you ever leave me and go away", I asked, scared… I didn't want to lose him.

He smiles at me, "Darling, why would I ever do that?"

I had my answer.

The intimate moment over, we sat on the bed, me edged on one side, he on the other. The darkness of the room is soothing, our silence stifling.

Even in the darkness I could feel his beauty, he was so breathtaking, so mysterious.
And he was all mine- or so I thought.

I sat and wondered... where was all the laughter, the naughty smiles, the twinkle in his eyes, all the joy we had shared? Now we behave like two people who didn't know each other anymore…only the usual, "I love you" accompanied with a meek smile which didn't really mean anything.

He got busy with his work and I got busy with mine. The love just was not there anymore.

He decided to leave, said he had to leave for work earlier than the usual timing tomorrow; I didn't try to stop him, because it wasn't in me to do so anymore.

He got dressed quickly, he seemed in a hurry, all I did I was watch him as I slowly dressed

"Goodbye", he murmured, but loud enough for me to hear and left without waiting for my response.

I walked up to the window to catch a glimpse of him, I saw him get into his car. He raced down the road leaving me behind with an uneasy feeling deep inside my heart. With nothing left to do, I decided to slip back under the bedcovers into slumberous oblivion.

I woke up the next day to the news of a man killed in an accident.

I didn't have to be told who it was-I ran to the place where it happened- it was covered with blood-his blood.

Its been months since that fateful day and now as I stand in front of his grave, I think of our last conversation-my doubt, his reassurance.

But now he really is- gone- and left me alone.