She stood on her terrace,
Deep in thought as she looked around her.
The pleasant breeze swept past her, the cool air filling her as she inhaled.
It was the time of festivities, with lights everywhere.
The wind lifted her hair, it made her smile.
Her mind at peace, she looked above,
The sky was black with only a few stars shimmering.
The black night held her in its awe.
The darkness above and the lights below,
And she between it all.
She separated the two worlds, one of light and revelry
The other of darkness and calm.
It was at this time that He came,
His presence brought a smile to her face.
His feelings for the night were the same as hers,
He looked around and felt the magic of the night engulf him.
He was on his terrace too,
Mystified by the night.
They didn't say much as they took in the night,
Their minds filled with a thousand silent words.
That night was a memorable one,
The bliss unforgettable.
The pains of the world left behind,
This night, the perfect emancipation.
This poem is dedicated to DJ, without whom this poem would not have been written.
7 Comments:
I think the poem has a positive feel to it. You've chosen blank verse, which I used to find more comfortable, but then I discovered rhythm. It's a pretty decent start, though. Don't just keep it up. Get better. :)
do i still have to comment??? ;) nice..... but where is it goin??? nowhere? WE ARE ON A TRIP. BUT WHERE ARE WE GOIN? YEAH! WHERE ARE WE GOIN? UMM... I DUNNO... ACTUALLY NOWHERE.... OH OK... NOWHERE??
but... but.... the language is nice... or should i say the emancipation of the language is nice... i'm not qualified to comment..... after all, what would a medical student know about writing?? ;)
The darkness above and the lights below,
And she between it all.
She separated the two worlds, one of light and revelry
The other of darkness and calm.
Perfect.
Boss ,
I loved th feelings that were portrayed in the verses.Strong feelings yet subtle.I loved the way it feels when you read it out.Its like a song .However,
I feel it is better to write what YOU feel than write what others feel and the way they want it.Please you dont have to make it rhyme if u don want to.....I mean dont you think we are done with Wings of Poesy and we need revolutionise what we feel and then write it down?
I dont like people telling you around what to write.........because it sounds great and feels even greater.
shibs-------m impressed grl...osm :)
Thank you :D
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